Understanding Gaslighting and What Victims Can Do

Gaslighting is a harmful form of psychological abuse in which a person or entity attempts to gain power over others by making them question their own recollection of events, perception of reality, and ultimately  their sanity.  Ã‚  Ã‚   As used in clinical research, literature, and political commentary, the term comes from the 1938 Patrick Hamilton play â€Å"Gas Light,† and its film adaptations released in 1940 and 1944, in which a murderous husband slowly drives his wife insane by progressively dimming their home’s gas-powered lights without her knowledge. When his wife complains, he convincingly tells her that the light has not changed.   Since almost anyone can fall victim to gaslighting, it is a common tactic of domestic abusers, cult leaders, sociopaths, narcissists, and dictators. Gaslighting can be perpetrated by either women or men. Often especially convincingly charming liars, gaslighters consistently deny their devious actions. For example, physically abusive persons involved in intimate relationships may gaslight their partners by passionately denying  they had acted violently or by trying to convince victims that they â€Å"deserved it,† or â€Å"enjoyed it.† Ultimately, gaslighting victims lower their expectations of what constitutes true affection and start to see themselves as being less deserving of affectionate treatment. The gaslighter’s ultimate goal is to instill a feeling of â€Å"I can’t believe my eyes† causing their victims to second guess their perception of reality, choice, and decision, thus increasing their level of trust in and dependence on their abuser for helping them â€Å"do the right thing.† Dangerously, of course, the â€Å"right thing† is often the â€Å"wrong thing.† The longer the gaslighting continues, the more catastrophic its effects can be on the victim’s psychological health. In the most serious cases, the victim actually begins to accept the gaslighter’s false version of reality as the truth, stop looking for help, reject the advice and support of family and friends, and become completely dependent of their abuser. Techniques and Examples of Gaslighting The techniques of gaslighting are cleverly designed to make it hard for victims to recognize. In most cases, the gaslighter purposely creates situations that allow them to hide the truth from the victim. For example, a gaslighter might move his partner’s keys from their usual spot, causing her to think she had misplaced them. He then â€Å"helps† her find the keys, telling her something like, â€Å"See? They’re right where you always leave them.† According the Domestic Abuse Hotline, the most common techniques of gaslighting include: Withholding: The gaslighter pretends not to understand or ignores his or her victims. For example, â€Å"Oh, not this again,† or â€Å"Now you’re trying to confuse me,† or â€Å"How many times have I told you†¦?†Countering: The gaslighter wrongly blames the victim’s faulty memory, even when the victim’s recollection is accurate. For example, â€Å"You’ve been forgetting things more often lately,† or â€Å"Your mind is playing tricks on you again.†Blocking or Diverting: The gaslighter keeps changing the subject or questioning their victim’s mental health, For example, â€Å"I bet your crazy friend (or family member) told you that,† or â€Å"You’re just making things up so you can use them against me.†Trivializing: The gaslighter makes the victim’s needs or fears seem unimportant. For example: â€Å"You’re mad at me for a little thing like that?† or â€Å"You’re going to let that come between us?†Forgetting or Denial: The gaslighter falsely claims to have forgotten what actually happened or denies promises made to the victim. For example, â€Å"I told you I was going to be late,† or â€Å"I never told you I would pick you up.† Common Signs of Gaslighting Victims must first recognize the signs  of gaslighting in order to escape the abuse. According to psychoanalyst Robin Stern, Ph.D., you might be a victim if: You seem to be second-guessing or doubting yourself more often,You constantly wonder if you might be â€Å"too sensitive.†You often feel confused, possibly to the point of doubting your own sanity.You constantly feel you need to apologize to your partner.You wonder why, with so many good things in your life, you are so unhappy.You frequently feel the need to make excuses for partner’s behavior.You often withhold information about your partner’s behavior from friends and family.You know something is very wrong, but can’t quite figure out what it is.You struggle to make what should be simple decisions.You constantly feel that you need to be a â€Å"better person.†You feel hopeless and joyless.You wonder if you are â€Å"good enough† partner. Since some of these signs of gaslighting—especially those involving memory loss and confusion—could also be symptoms of another physical or emotional disorder,  persons experiencing them should always consult with a physician. Recovering from Gaslighting Once they recognize that someone is gaslighting them, victims can recover and regain their ability to trust their own perception of reality. Victims often benefit from re-establishing relationships they may have abandoned as a result of being abused. Isolation only makes the situation worse and surrenders more power to the abuser. Knowing they have the trust and support of others helps victims recover the ability to trust and believe in themselves. Recovering gaslighting victims may also choose to seek professional therapy to gain reassurance that their sense of reality is correct. Again able to trust themselves, victims are better able to end their relationship with their abusers. While gaslighter-victim relationships can be salvaged, doing so can be difficult. As relationship therapist Darlene Lancer, JD, points out, both partners must be willing and able to change their behavior. Willing partners sometimes successfully encourage each other to change. However, as Lancer notes, this is less likely to happen if one or both partners has an addiction or personality disorder. Key Points About Gaslighting Gaslighting is a harmful form of psychological abuse.Gaslighters attempt to gain control over others by making them question their own memory, reality, and sanity.Gaslighting is a common tactic of domestic abusers, cult leaders, sociopaths, narcissists, and dictators.The first step in recovering from gaslighting is realizing it is happening.As with all forms of psychological and domestic abuse, professional help is often needed. Sources and Additional References Firth, Shanon. â€Å"What is gaslighting?† The Week onlineJacobson, Neil S.; Gottman, John M. When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships. Simon and Schuster. ISBN 978-0-684-81447-6â€Å"What is Gaslighting.† Domestic Abuse Hotline. Online. May 29, 2014â€Å"7 Signs You Are a Victim of Gaslighting†. Divorced moms .comâ€Å"11 Warning Signs of Gaslighting.† PsychologyToday.com. January 22, 2017Stern, Robin, PhD. The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life. Harmony. ISBN 978-0-7679-2445-0â€Å"Gaslighting Definition, Techniques and Being Gaslighted.†Ã‚  HealthyPlace.comâ€Å"Gaslighting.† GoodTherapy.org onlineLancer, Darlene JD, LMFT. â€Å"How to Know If Youre a Victim of Gaslighting.† PsychologyToday.com. January, 13, 2018Stout, Martha. The Sociopath Next Door. Random House Digital. ISBN 978-0-7679-1582-3.

The Iliad A Greek Hero Who Was The Central Character And...

Claudia Gonzalez Mr. Sherman British Lit. 1 April 2016 The Iliad Achilles was a Greek hero who was the central character and greatest warrior of Homer’s Iliad. Hector was the leader and warrior in the Trojan army. He is known as the mightiest warrior. Agamemnon was the king of Mycenae and also commander in chief of the Achaean army. Priam was Hector’s father who also fought with the Trojans and he mirrors Achilles in some ways.All of these men were great heroes with different values. Even though these men cared a lot about winning the battles that were fought, they all had their different priorities; some were their families, and others were the battles. All these men had their differences and similarities. People loved these heroes because for them a hero was a person who was a winner. A person was seen as a hero if he or she served their master and won his or her battles. Agamemnon resembles Achilles in some ways. Victory is what motivates Achilles and there was not a time that he wanted to lose a battle or even thought he could lose one. Agamemnon is a strong man but not as strong as Achilles. Achilles was actually considered as the strongest character of the Iliad. He almost became immortal after he was bathed in the Styx River (â€Å"Difference Between†). Agamemnon insulted Achilles which caused him to withdraw from the battle that was planned. Achilles was very angry because all of his men were becoming ill and when he found out that the reason for their illness was becauseShow MoreRelatedThe Bronze And Iron Age Essay2093 Words   |  9 PagesQuestion: 1-What Can Homer tell us about the Bronze and Iron Age The Bronze and Iron Ages were 2 of the main periods in Greek History and Homer can tell us a lot about them. The Bronze Age was all about mixing copper with tin or arsenic to bronze hence it is called the Bronze Age. The Iron Age was when the whole of the east Mediterranean was in crisis. In central Anatolia, the collapse of the Hitties opened the gates to invaders who overran the country. Firstly, let’s talk about Homer- a lot of the worksRead MoreThe Epic Of All Time1312 Words   |  6 Pagesalmost over. The Iliad by Homer was written nearly 2700 years ago. It is a poetic novel consisting of books rather than chapters, and was an accumulative of stories throughout many years due to the literary storage resources available. There is speculation as to whether Homer has ever existed due to the enigma that there is no evidence supporting his life. This is often considered one of the greatest literary mysteries of all time. Regardless, after nine years the war between the Greeks and Trojans continuesRead MoreGreek Lore Research Paper Outline1082 Words   |  5 Pages Greek Lore Research Paper Outline Folklore is a collection of stories passed down from generation to generation that include Legends, Myths, and Fairy Tales. Legends are traditional stories sometimes popularly regarded as historical but unauthenticated. Myths are traditional stories, especially one concerning the early history of a people or explaining some natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events. Fairy Tales are false stories that is meant toRead MoreGreek Mythology8088 Words   |  33 PagesGreek  Mythology   I   INTRODUCTION   Temple  of  Apollo  at  Didyma   The  Greeks  built  the  Temple  of  Apollo  at  Didyma,  Turkey  (about  300  bc).  The  temple  supposedly  housed  an  oracle   who  foretold  the  future  to  those  seeking  knowledge.  The  predictions  of  the  oracles,  delivered  in  the  form  of  riddles,   often  brought  unexpected  results  to  the  seeker.  With  Ionic  columns  reaching  19.5  m  (64  ft)  high,  these  ruins   suggest  the  former  grandeur  of  the  ancient  temple.   Bernard  Cox/Bridgeman  Art  Library,  London/New  York   Read Moretheme of alienation n no where man by kamala markandeya23279 Words   |  94 Pageslegend. It illustrates how the curse on the House of Labdacus (who is the grandson of Cadmus, founder of Thebes, and the father of Laius, whose son is Oedipus) brought about the deaths of Oedipus and his wif e-mother, Jocasta, as well as the double fratricide of Eteocles and Polynices. Furthermore, Antigone dies after defying King Creon. The play is set in Thebes, a powerful city-state north of Athens. Although the play itself was written in 441 B.C., the legend goes back to the foundations of

Airbags Essay Example For Students

Airbags Essay Airbags have been known not only for their saving lives but also for taking them. Airbags were an option in the mid 1970s and now airbags are standard in every car. (Automobile) Airbags are built into steering columns, dashboards and in newer cars also the side panels, to cushion passengers and drivers in an event of a wreck. Airbags are made from nylon and inflated with sodium oxide and nitrogen. Now that airbags are so common and expensive, thieves are known to steal and sell them. During the rainstorm, its hard to see anything especially when the downpour makes the windshield wipers work constantly. On this cold, dreary February night Tracy was driving her 1996 Ford Explorer with her husband in the passenger seat and her 16-month-old daughter, Alix, in her car seat in the back. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tall, 12 point buck is caught by the vehicles headlights. Both the buck and Tracy freeze. A second later, a powerful explosion occurs inside the cabin of the car. The airbags def late nearly as quickly as they inflate. An hour later a car sees the wreck and stops to help. At that point, Tracy had no pulse, her husband is unconscious, and Alix was screaming in the back seat. (Mellon, Webster ; Mellon)At last count, this scenario has happened 135 times. (Strong) How many more times does it have to happen before the automotive industry does something about it? Drivers are not the only victims, though. Small women, children, and the elderly have also been killed as a result of airbags. The time has come to ask ourselves, Do airbags really work? First off, most people feel that airbags are a great safety device. They let people walk away from an accident without a scratch, right? They protect everybody, right? People dont need seatbelts if their car has an airbag, right? Wrong. Airbags cause injuries, airbags kill, and airbags dont work unless seatbelts are worn. In a rollover accident, people still have a chance of being thrown from the car even if their car has airbags. When looking at the airbag issue, we must first look at the issue of safety. When the idea of installing airbags was first introduced, it seemed to be a good, life-saving idea. However, airbags have snapped the necks of 135 children and short women. (Strong) Smaller women might survive their accidents if airbags werent installed in their vehicles. True, airbags have had some success. Airbags have been credited with saving 3,800 lives since they have been introduced. (Akre) The airbags may be saving some lives. However, in other cases, they are doing more damage than good. USA Today broke the story on airbag performance. The news report told us that airbags deliver enough non-lethal injuries to the passengers that it offsets their performance on overall injuries. The net result is that airbags have been found to cause injuries in so many accidents that the little good they do is overshadowed by the injuries they cause. Now that you understand some of the problems with the p erformance of airbags, lets look at another problem, why they are unreliable. The reliability of airbags is questioned since they do not protect all sizes of bodies. When the first airbags were tested, the engineers didnt take into account the different sizes of people the bags would have to protect. They used a one-sized dummy. The engineers didnt think about the possibility of babies in the front seat or smaller-framed people being hurt by the bags. The airbag deploys at speeds of 200 miles an hour. (Air bag) The bags explode when a sensor sets them off, whether the car is involved in a fender bender or a head on collision. If the cars sensors could sense the severity of the crash, the airbag could deploy with more or less force, resulting in less overall injuries. These smart sensors are still on the drawing board. It will be years before they are being put into full effect. According to Ford and General Motors, the advent of smart sensors will accompany smarter airbags. These ai rbags will not only be located in the steering wheel and the glove box, but on the side of the seats. The airbags will also be smart enough to know whether a passenger airbag should deploy, in case no one is seated there. (GM, Ford rethink safety) Hopefully, the cost will not overshadow the safety devices. . Until that time, drivers will have to continue to use good driving skills. .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e , .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .postImageUrl , .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .centered-text-area { min-height: 80px; position: relative; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e , .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e:hover , .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e:visited , .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e:active { border:0!important; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .clearfix:after { content: ""; display: table; clear: both; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e { display: block; transition: background-color 250ms; webkit-transition: background-color 250ms; width: 100%; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 250ms; webkit-transition: opacity 250ms; background-color: #95A5A6; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e:active , .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e:hover { opacity: 1; transition: opacity 250ms; webkit-transition: opacity 250ms; background-color: #2C3E50; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .centered-text-area { width: 100%; position: relative ; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .ctaText { border-bottom: 0 solid #fff; color: #2980B9; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; margin: 0; padding: 0; text-decoration: underline; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .postTitle { color: #FFFFFF; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 600; margin: 0; padding: 0; width: 100%; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .ctaButton { background-color: #7F8C8D!important; color: #2980B9; border: none; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: none; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 26px; moz-border-radius: 3px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-shadow: none; width: 80px; min-height: 80px; background: url(https://artscolumbia.org/wp-content/plugins/intelly-related-posts/assets/images/simple-arrow.png)no-repeat; position: absolute; right: 0; top: 0; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e:hover .ctaButton { background-color: #34495E!important; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .centered-text { display: table; height: 80px; padding-left : 18px; top: 0; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e-content { display: table-cell; margin: 0; padding: 0; padding-right: 108px; position: relative; vertical-align: middle; width: 100%; } .uf237fe43665d603ff6ef11bff77fd21e:after { content: ""; display: block; clear: both; } READ: Albert Camus the Plague Essay Cost is a major decision when deciding what car to buy. Since the price of insurance is rising, most people want a car that is cost effective when it comes to insurance. Insurance companies actually charge substantially more to insure an airbag-equipped car. The insurance rate for an airbag-equipped car will continue to rise, due to the reports of airbag related deaths. The main reason the insurance is so high for an airbag equipped car is that the cost of replacing a deployed airbag is expensive. The air bags cost nearly 800 dollars to replace. (Doran) A simple fender bender can result in thousands of dollars of medical bills and another thousand to fix the car. Airbags not only cause injury and raise insurance, they also make your car a target. If you have an airbag in your car, a thief can be 200 dollars richer in two minutes. The couple of hundred dollars received by the thieves is more than enough incentive to target them, since they are worth more than most car stereos. A coupl e of screwdrivers and two minutes of time is all it takes to steal an airbag. (Newman) Quite an incentive for the average thief. The thief has no use for the bags, though. So who buys them? Any repair shop owner that wants to stay competitive, thats who. When stolen bags and sensors are sold illegally to repair shops, the repair shops endanger everybody. Airbags arent easily transferred from one vehicle to another. Sensors might be different or the size of the bag may be improper. People have no way of knowing if the airbags will even go off. After paying upwards of a thousand dollars to replace an airbag, knowing whether or not it will go off should not even be a factor. (Newman)The last problem with airbags is the fact that people seem to become more dangerous on the roads when they have them. People not only drive faster, they also take more risks. These risks include increased speeding and not wearing their seatbelts. Drivers with airbag equipped cars feel that the airbag gives them an advantage, and that they can drive like a maniac. An airbag will not work properly if a seatbelt isnt worn. (Healey ; ODonnell) This belief can kill, as it has before. Many people would probably still be alive today if they had worn their seatbelt in conjunction with their airbag. In an accident, the airbag will not prevent the passenger from being ejected from the vehicle. If people just wear seatbelts, they do not face a chance of being ejected from a vehicle. If people dont wear any safety device, they sustain serious injuries in fender benders. Airbags can even harm people in a low speed crash. (Strong) Airbags cause more problems over all than they are worth. Airbags cause death and insurance rates to increase due to theft and the increasing number of airbags located in a car. Automakers need to consider installing smart sensors as soon as possible. Lets not forget that there have already been way too many accidents that were preventable. Bibliography: